With less than 2 weeks to go before my scheduled C-section, my mind is filled with thoughts of being ready for another baby. Although I can surely tell that after two boys my anxiety is less and I felt more experienced as a mom. But, who can really tell if you are enough when every pregnancy is different and for sure every child is unique. It is a choice you have to make and be at peace with yourself.
Still, I believe every mom was built with a heart that does not forget to care and prepare. I think that is the reason why our bags are filled with all kinds of snacks and toys. As I had mentioned before my first trimester totally kick my butt and now at third trimester body aches and extra weight included my energy is pumping to make sure everything is in place and ready. Although I am pretty sure that I will keep forgetting a thing or two.
Luckily, we kept most of our baby furniture from 6 years ago when we had our first son Parker. The changing table has always been there since we still use the dresser part. And yes, the crib is still there probably because we felt that we will have another baby or we are just too lazy to disassemble it and think where to put it. I ordered most of the baby stuff ahead of time and though I did not have a big baby shower, that did not stop people from sending gifts and sweet thoughts. At this difficult time with COVID 19 still going, I did not feel too alone.
I can’t deny that I am overwhelm but having two boys kept me busy. Probably too busy to even think what is bothering me. Though there are moments that I find myself irritable and ovethinking. Still, I refuse to give in, maybe that is why I put alot of my thoughts and efforts in watercolor and calligraphy. But above all this I believe that having a quiet conversation with God helped me get through my worries. I still feel grumpy but alot of times my heart feels lighter. I feel like my prayers where answered when I don’t know what to do anymore. So, I will just keep on inspiring myself with art, let go of my worries with prayers and just embrace a positive attitude in life. My wish is every momma who is having a hard time will have the strenght to survive and come out stronger amidst all the trouble that we have around us.