I am not quite sure how to begin this entry since I felt like half of my pregnancy is a blur with days filled with not feeling well. I know first trimester is a kick ass, it literally kick my butt until all I can remember is sleeping, nausea and functioning like a robot to make sure I can still take care of my other two boys. Though I feel miserable most of the time, there are two things that are clear to me, I have to go on and I have a very good husband. I am not sure how can I go on without his understanding and patience.
But I think being pregnant at year 2020 does not end every woman’s story on the misery of pregnancy symptoms, because of how COVID-19 totally define what life changing situation really means. Let me just start with the shelter at home order, being called high risk and being screen of the virus’ symptoms before going to your doctor’s appointments. Aside from that, you are going to the doctor’s office alone to lessen the risk of infection. Aside from numerous doctor’s appointments and lab work with your mask on, there is the worry of getting your baby supplies. Luckily, it is my third child and I am pretty aware of what my baby needs. But just to be prepared I orgered things earlier to avoid delays, so to my fellow pregnant mom it’s best to start early.
It is so easy to be anxiuos and negative to the world’s current situation. I am a nurse and I should know better than going to work. Still, I am there, clocking in with a smile on my face. I will be lying if I say that I am 100% positive and I don’t overthink. But I am 100% sure that we will get through this. I go to work with a grateful heart as my costaff looks after me and remind me that though everyone is under pressure and scared, we care about each other and no virus can put us down.
Plus how can I drown from this stressful time when everyday I wake up with my kids wanting to play. And half the time my husband is working at home. We have food in the table, we are healthy, we have time, we are blessed. Every night, I pray starting with a thank you.
I know life is not fair. I might look at things differently if I am on the other side. But right now I am just doing everything I can to survive and to not lose sight of what is important. I cannot allow myself to wander away and be taken over by overthinking. Life taught me that self love can totally help you get by the tough times. Alot of times I stop and ask myself how I am doing. But being at home for 2 months clearly showed me that family time is important. That this is my chance to save up for the future and learn something new. It is a time to rise above worrying and embrace what is infront of me.