I wish I could totally say that being focus is one of my greatest strength but it’s not. I am one of those people who studies in front of the tv or run in the threadmill while browsing on my phone. Many times I find myself looking at Instagram or Facebook and waste almost an hour doing nothing. Though I can say I am looking for inspiration, ha!
Inspiration, such a strong word and for me such a strong motivation. I remember when I started writing again through my blog, I was inspired to share my struggles and success as a new mom. It gave me such a big push that though my computer skills is limited (proven and tested by my cousins, haha) in the beginning, I will stay up late just to learn how to set up my blog and make it look pretty. Inspiration also made me practice calligraphy because I want to create something beautiful and thoughtful, back then I forgot entirely how hard it is to be left handed. That feeling seems to be so memorable and beautiful.
But then, there came a point that being inspired is not enough. I found myself kept waiting for the perfect moment, for the perfect inspiration to get me going, but life seems to overwhelm me most of the time. Many times I am trapped on my mommy duties and when I get that chance to look up it is bedtime already. I am too exhausted by the end of the day. Probably, the reason it took me forever to write in my blog or give a handmade gift to a friend.
One day, while starting my morning I realize that I have so much things in my head and I feel so unsettled. Inside my head, everything seems to be so scattered. I hate that feeling, it makes me feel so defeated. Then another “AHA!” moment came, probably one of the ten “AHA” moments I had since I became a mom. These times seems to happen each time I am troubled or I can’t figure out what to do with my life. In my head I know chores is important but forgetting to be me is depressing. And taking that little time to write or finish a project is me. Just like that all my thoughts fell on one thing, you got to finish things no matter how busy you are! You can do this.
So, I brought a new inspiration in my heart and added discipline to it. It’s the world telling me that having that inspiration inside of you only works if you do something about it.
So, here are the things that helped me finish my tasks and made me feel accomplished/productive:
Make a list on a post it or note pad that you can see all the time to remind you of things that you need to do aside from your mommy duties. I totally have a special part of that in my planner
Make time for it. Yes, you have to make time for it or you will fall on the I don’t have time excuse. Write it down on your planner or put it in your phone as a reminder. Am sure I told myself this before.
Focus. Stop looking at Instagram or Facebook. Stop being on your phone. Your chores can wait for an hour or do it early before you start doing a project.
Be Patient. When I create a piece, I am really frustrated on so many things like I can’t write straight or it’s my 100th page and it still does not look perfect. This virtue taught me to stay positive so many times. I usually take a deep breath and give myself 5 minutes or more before I start again.
Be forgiving of yourself. There are a lot of instances that my frustration came from not being able to finish anything or it is not good enough. At this point, I tell myself there is tomorrow and I can always rip that paper apart and start fresh. Sorry you can’t do it today but there is another day, another chance.
Find inspiration and embrace your self doubt. Though projects are meant to bring joy to myself and others, there are times that I am at war with my thoughts whether people will really appreciate what I do. Self doubt sometimes paralyzed me and I remember how many times I just end up giving up and setting aside my plans because I feel like I am not enough. But I have to stop, at the end of the day, life is what you make it (PS. thanks to my parents who constantly reminds me this). Instead of nurturing my self doubt, I focus on what inspires me and keeps me going. Whether it’s talking to people who loves me or just by reading a book that changes how I see things.
I am sure I can keep going on and on with this list. But for now, I am just hopeful that I can keep up with my struggles and be able to grow. I just want to keep my heart full and be able to give more to people I love and of course to myself, without that mommy guilt.
How about you, what keeps you going? 🙂